is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
