On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
