Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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