i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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