When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
MIDGETS
????
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
