the new term for farting is butt boxing.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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