Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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