haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
