He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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