i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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