She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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