help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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