do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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