just tell him i said nine months
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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