This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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