this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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