so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
PANTIES FOUND
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
