you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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