I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
