oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
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Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize