You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
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Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
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Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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