I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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