But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
