Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
