it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
