I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
