id be glad to
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Couch. On fire.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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