I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
