woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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