He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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