im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
