So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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