I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize