you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
