It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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