I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
