Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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