New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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