I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
