I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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