I want to walk on stilts...naked
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
