Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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