At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
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