When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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