The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
