Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
