so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
