I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
