omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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