I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Who died my cat blue again?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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