I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
