Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
