Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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