How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
