Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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